bedroom hymns (i did this for you)
by justimpolite
Summary: 'When it comes down to it, Allison realises she's more afraid of Lydia than she is of Scott... the way her breath catches just that little bit when she sees pink tongue wetting full red lips whilst the owner concentrates on translating archaic Latin.' A development of Allison's feelings for Lydia up until post season 2.


**So I've started watching teen wolf, and I literally ship everything and everyone on that show, but it's allison/lydia that i find most interesting at the moment. **

**I do no own the characters, nor the song.**

* * *

_'This is as good a place to fall as any_  
_We'll build our alter here._  
_Make me your Maria_  
_I'm already on my knees.'  
Bedroom Hymns - Florence + the Machine_

_._

When it comes down to it, Allison realises she's more afraid of Lydia than she is of Scott.

Not that she's scared of Lydia as a person; more of the way her heart rate picks up whenever the shorter girl smirks at her from across the classroom after showing up the other students by answering a particularly difficult equation in a matter of seconds. Or the way her breath catches just that little bit when she sees pink tongue wetting full red lips whilst the owner concentrates on translating archaic Latin.

And when she thinks about it, Allison is pretty sure that she should be more afraid of her maybe-boyfriend seeing as he is, you know, a werewolf.

.

She knows that she loves Scott, that's certain. But she doesn't get that _rush_ that she hears other kids at school giggling about in the hallways.

When she looks at Scott and he gives her that crooked smile from where he's standing at his locker with Stiles, she feels warmth pool into the bottom of her stomach. It's nice, it's safe, but it's not...exciting.

When Lydia cocks a perfectly shaped eyebrow in her direction from the other side of the cafeteria table, she feels warmth gather somewhere much lower than her stomach.

.

Allison never really thought much about the possibility of liking girls. She never thought she would have to.

She'd kissed her fair share of boys in her teenage years, and she liked them all just fine. She started dating Scott and he became her first in a great many ways. And she loved him, yes, she loved him.

But then Erica runs her hand up her thigh in chemistry and her heart stops beating for just a second.

And although it's supposed to be a violent action, and her tights are stained with blood, sometimes she finds her mind wandering back to the exact moment the blonde extended her claws into her white flesh.

(When she traces the half moon scars on her leg, she swears she can feel the blood rush to her head.)

.

Lydia spends a lot of time at Allison's house.

She'll often turn up with bags of her most recent purchases and proceed to get Allison's opinion on all of them. Allison doesn't mind at all, in fact it's an activity she's become fond of. It just gets a little difficult when it becomes apparent just how comfortable Lydia is with partial nudity.

Spending time with Lydia used to be a lot easier when she didn't skip around Allison's room clad only in her underwear.

.

And then suddenly Allison's mother is dead, Lydia knows all about Beacon Hills' supernatural tendencies, and she and Scott have broken up.

Lydia stays over a lot after this. She doesn't need to climb through the window like Scott once did; her father just lets her in, hoping she'll be able to get through to his daughter.

They won't say anything anymore; there's no need. Lydia will just crawl into bed and bring her body tight up against Allison's.

The closeness is all they need.

.

But when she's being shoved backwards into an empty closet during the last week of school, and her hands are fisting fiery red curls, she thinks it's maybe time to admit that kissing Lydia is all she thinks about.

There is a brief moment of panic when she realises that this is actually happening, but the next thing she knows a hand has slipped under her skirt and between her legs and all rational thought flies out the window, mirroring the moan that breaks the confines of her tired body.

.

There was a reason Allison loved archery so much. It was because everytime her calloused fingers gripped her bow, or stroked the feathered fletching of an arrow, it gave Allison a thrill. She knew that these weapons were powerful, and having them tight in her hand reminded her that she was strong, and that she was in control.

She doesn't rediscover this thrill until Lydia.

Because feeling Lydia's pale skin, and the increasing rhythm of her pulse under her hands as her touch marks and burns is almost too reminiscent of this feeling.

Lydia is precious, and powerful and absolutely something to be revered.

.

One night they fuck on Lydia's floor, the curtains pulled wide open, illuminating their bodies in broken beams of moonlight.

Lydia is the smartest, most brilliant person Allison has ever met, so she knows that this is no accident.

A few days ago Allison had broken down whilst hunting in the forest. She'd been chasing Derek for three solid hours and when she had eventually cornered him, when the arrow was resting upon her knuckle, pointing straight at the leather covered heart of the remaining Hale, she had faltered. She had looked him straight in the eyes and realised that yes, technically he was responsible for her mother's death, but she didn't lose her to him. She'd lost her mother a long time ago, to this sick, twisted reality that was suffocating every part of her.

Within seconds, her knees had hit the floor and Derek was gone.

And then she grieved. She cried for her mother, for her father, for Scott. But mostly she cried for herself, and her fucked up life. She cried because she knew that even after everything that's happened, she knew it wasn't over. She knew that there would be more terror to come, and she knew that she was still going to be tied and tethered to Scott and Derek and everyone else that made her life hell.

She still wasn't aware of how long she had been like this, curled up on the forest floor, her throat burning from the endless sobs that she was releasing into the air, her fingers coated with a mixture of blood and dirt, from hopelessly pounding the cracked soil. It didn't really matter.

It later occurs to her that Derek must have sought out Lydia himself, because the next thing she had been aware of, Lydia had brought her into her arms, kissing her battered knuckles and whispering into her ear.

In the days that passed, things had been a little awkward between them, Allison refusing to talk about what had transpired in the forest.

But now, Allison realises that Lydia means for this to be therapeutic for her in some way. Because Lydia is reminding her that although this might not be over, she is here with her, and they are together. And right now, in this moment as their bodies move together in the light of the full moon, she doesn't need to worry about any of it. Unlike with Scott, with Lydia, she doesn't need to fear this night, or any other for that matter.

And as Allison's name is called, short and sharp on the other girl's breathe, the throaty gasps anchor her here, in this room, with this girl.

She takes one last look at the moon as Lydia's limbs cling to her, before taking a deep breath and lowering her head, smiling against the other girl's clavicle.

She can breathe now.

.

_'I'm not here looking for absolution_  
_Because I found myself an old solution.'_


End file.
